Unstuck in time.
This is a message to the future.
It will travel at a speed of one hour per hour, one day per day. Once you begin reading this entry, it is already over. When I started writing it, the events outlined below had already taken place. And once you reach the end of this entry, you will be catapulted back in time to the next one. At the end of that entry, it will happen again. And again. And so on. Read far enough and you will watch me fold up into the person I used to be. See the things I used to do. The relationships I used to have. You can watch me scrape graphite off paper with a pencil. Un-type the words I’ve written. Un-say, the things I’ve said. Un-be the person I am.
Blogging is temporally recursive.
Perhaps, this is why I don’t blog as often as I could. I am a forward-looking person and anxious for what might or will happen. I’m fearful and sometimes embarrassed of the past and it’s easier to keep my eyes on that which I can still affect.
Today is February 3, 2009 and I have not written a personal blog entry in many months.
A lot has happened, so I’ll skip the detail-work and do this in broad strokes:
The big news… Joanna broke up with me. I’m single now. She and I are still good friends and there are no hard feelings, but for obvious reasons it is more comfortable for us to keep our distance from each other. It was a good four years.
…And that’s it. There’s really no more to say. The details are personal, sparse and frankly uninteresting. I won’t be offended if you ask for more, but how forthcoming I will be depends upon my mood. And condolences are not necessary — the traumatic moments have passed and the world is looking new and shiny to me.
Beyond that, the holidays were mostly painless. My aunt, uncle and cousin came into town from DC and it’s always great to see them. The best part, however, was spending some time with my brother. We have never been very close, but that’s slowly changing. We have a lot more in common than we ever realized. Perhaps we just didn’t see it, but the more likely scenario is that we didn’t allow ourselves to see it. And perhaps, I’m projecting my own hang-ups and saying “we” when I should be saying “I”.
My company, Turnstyle Creative, turned four years old yesterday and business has been great. I feel like the only person in the world that is thriving in this economic MELTDOWN-PANIC-WTF-AAHHH-RUN-WE’RE-ALL-GONNA-DIE. Can’t explain why. We just got lucky with the timing. Lots of big, fun, lucrative projects in the queue. Things are truly the best they’ve ever been.
That said, I am obviously concerned things could take a turn for the worse. As the rest of the world crumbles, chances are something heavy will land on us. So, I’m taking steps to bring as much new business into the office as possible and, unfortunately, I have to make some time sacrifices on the comics front…
I’m pushing back the release of LACKLUSTER WORLD #6 and #7. My intention was to release #6 in time for S.P.A.C.E. in April, but that’s is no longer the case. The new release date is undetermined, but rest assured I am still working hard on them. I simply won’t be beating myself up to complete them for a self-imposed deadline. And while I’m on the subject… I’m just not willing to sacrifice quality again. I’ve done that with the past 3 or 4 issues and it irks me to no end. I intend to enjoy these last two issues. In a way, it is my long goodbye to these characters. The scripts are written and every time I read them in reference to what I’m drawing, I’m a little sad. In a way, they are already gone.
Anyway, I will still have some new items for S.P.A.C.E.. REFLECTION came out last Autumn, but it’ll be new to the S.P.A.C.E. crowd and, of course, the infamous JESUS & TALKING BEAR shirts. I’m also contemplating a S.P.A.C.E.-only LW mini-comic of some kind. We’ll see.
On the whole, I’m trying to make wiser and more constructive use of my time — vanquishing laziness without vanquishing fun.
So, I bought a violin! I just had this overwhelming urge to suck at something. Kidding. About the urge part. Not the suck part. I definitely suck at it.
My only lessons have come from YouTube, but I intend to take ‘real’ lessons with a personal instructor this Spring. For now, I’m keeping things very wax-on-wax-off as I learn the motions, build calluses, learn to read sheet music, etc.
Overall, I’m happy! I believe I’m at my best when I feel challenged, so I’m challenging myself to learn new skills, improve myself, meet new people, test myself, set demanding goals, experience new things, LIVE A LITTLE A LOT.
So… I hope that one day I’ll find this entry as it travels towards the future. Across the years between now and then, I will stare my future self in the eye and share this valuable advice: “Watch for the future, admire the past, but live in the present.”
And my future self will nod and reply, “And don’t you forget it. Good luck.”
February 4th, 2009 at 12:23 am
I have long wanted to learn violin… or at least more than being able to do simple recorded riffs for the purpose assembling/looping, after many many painful oopses.
You know, I wish my days were half as productive as yours, and my business even half as successful – but I am glad you are doing well over there.
Yeah, the economy has given us a serious hit. I took for granted that I was going to wake up every day to find sales, and spend my days shipping – no matter how bad the economy was, I still managed. I didn’t think it could get any worse – but these last two weeks were worse than the previous months, end they worse than the ones before. I found myself in a position where my business depended solely on sales, and was very lucky I held onto a client or two “just in case”.
Anyway – I hope to see you at SPACE this year – no telling if we can make it or not, but it is in our plans.
February 4th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Thanks.
From what I gather, Michigan is the worst of the worst economically. I’ve been wondering how you were doing up there. How is/was SGWBM doing? I gave one of my copies to Chuck at comicrelated.com a few days ago. Hopefully, he can give you some press.
SPACE, indeed. Never miss it.
February 17th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
Michigan is indeed the worst of the worst.
Had the economy not taken the downturn it did, it might actually work out well for me – since all of my income is print sales and work from out of town. The money coming in vs. cost of living, would have made for a nice dynamic.
I think I am still doing better on sales than most artists out there – despite the slowdown, print sales have still been covering my living expenses, just not much more than that.
Art shows, and exposure from them would however be nice, as would finding new local clients. Neither are really happening here, and I am a long way away from NYC and LA – and the weather here really gets to me. I hate it when the temp is below 165 degrees, and I have not seen a day without snow on the ground in over a month now.
I am however closer to you, and other Ohio people – so meeting halfway, or going all the way to Ohio here or there would be nice – once the weather gets a little bit better.
Thanks much for passing on the comic. It really hasn’t been all that much of a hit – I have been wondering to myself whether I should go ahead with the next installment, or edit the hell out of the current one… there really aren’t that many copies out there anyway.
I would like to think that has to do with exposure and my lack of marketing… but I doubt it. Thanks for passing it on – it would be neat if that panned out.